26 years old. Ex-ex-pat. Wandering Californian. Pseudo historian. Grad student. Queer. Beer enthusiast. Anglophile. Theoretical time traveler. Part time librarian. Full time loser. The usual.

 

I don’t remember adding a good portion of this stuff to my ‘to read’ list on Goodreads. Did I get drunk and trawl every reading list I could find again? Almost certainly. Do I have regrets? Not even. 

My cell phone alarm app has a section for each alarm that allows you to put in a memo/name the alarm. For example, my 6:30 alarm’s memo is “go the fuck to work”. 

I have one alarm saved in there for 4 am. The memo is “motivation”. The hell was I doing at 4 am and why did I need to motivate myself to do it?

Awkward confession time

I can’t watch any of Rick Steves’ Europe shows without crying.

Just losing my shit over Belfast, nothing to see here.

actual thing I just said to an empty room

"Ok, gods of history and/or gods of queer, here’s the thing. If you guys help me out and get me into grad school in DC I swear to you I will do everything in my power to get at least an internship at the national LGBT history museum to help make that business a reality and make you guys proud, ok?"

What’s that? I’m a giant nerd? No, it’s Halloween and I’m 11. (I’m a giant nerd every day.)

(Things that weren’t made with tits in mind: suspenders. Most of men’s wear, actually. But mostly suspenders.)

I’m just going to go ahead and preemptively apologize in case I become one of those assholes who post nothing but pictures of their cat. 

Right now the options are: either I rage about politics, wail about my lack of gainful employment, or overload you with pictures of Samson being cute. I think I know which one we all prefer. 

apropos of my last post

I feel I should mention: I actively dislike Katy Perry. 

apropos of nothing

If the places I’ve lived were the people I’ve dated, Germany would be the one I call at 2 am while sloppy drunk in order to leave a horrible rendition of “Teenage Dream” on their answering machine.

EXCUSE ME WHILE I LISTEN TO MIKA’S NEW ALBUM. EXCUSE ME WHILE I SEE HE HAS A SONG CALLED “EMILY”. EXCUSE ME WHILE I ROLL AROUND ON THE FLOOR.

CAPS LOCK IS A NECESSITY.

as you were.

Mom: One of my friends is going to Germany tomorrow.

Em: AHHHHH why am I not going to Germany tomorrow.

Mom: She knows people who have a vinyard outside Frankfurt.

Em: AHHHH I know people who have vinyards outside Frankfurt.

Mom: And then they're going to Oktoberfest.

Em: AHHHH I know people who are going to Oktoberfest.