Dad: I hope Romney wins the popular vote but doesn't end up winning the presidency so we can listen to the Republicans cry for four more years. Serve 'em right. I did my eight years under Bush. It's your turn, right-wing bastards.
Shit guys, all I can say is that I really, really hope Obama gets reelected because my escape plan just went up in smoke.
Also, where’s my binder full of women?
Mom: You'll never guess what happened to me at work today.
Mom: Some idiot patient complained to my boss and accused me of using profanity on the phone with her.
Em: Are you kidding? What did she accuse you of saying?
Mom: She wouldn't say.
Em: Then it's obviously bullshit, right?
Mom: The only thing I could think of that could possibly be construed as....in some alternate, Republican universe...
Em: You said "vagina", didn't you?
Mom: I did.
Me: Why am I watching the Republican convention?
Her: You tell me. That's only going to depress you, me, and everyone we know.
Her: Except crazy relatives. Your Grandma and my Uncle Leo love it.
Her: I don't even know how you stand this. Just reading the highlights online makes me sick.
Me: Glass of wine in one hand.
Me: Bottle of wine in the other.
Her: That's my girl!